Keep it in the Family

"That'll be five quid, miss,"

"Oh, you must be new. I'm Eloise Craven, Mr Coward is my uncle and family members go free."

"No miss."

"Pardon?"

"Mr Coward is like an honorary (he pronounced it "honerry") uncle not a blood relative so it's five pounds if you please."

"If you please," sounded like a threat and the door of the Coward and Co taxi was locked by the driver so Eloise had to pay up.

She duly exploded when she got home, "Here, mum do you know what uncle Staf has gone and done now."

She was rather deflated by the response, "Yes I do."

"He's only gone and charged me for, well charged me by proxy, for the taxi fare."

"I know. Elly, it is all a matter of overheads you see. He couldn't go on giving us free rides what with the business rates and the cost of petrol."

"So you knew!"

"Yes I knew, like I just said."

"And you didn't think to tell me?"

"I have told you now haven't I?"

It was Saturday and Eloise's day for cleaning the house while mum went shopping. She powered up the Shark portable hoover and while it was recharging she had a little look around the room. She was not being nosy, just taking an interest.

In a dusty old drawer, she found a key. That was odd because nothing was locked except that cupboard in mum's room which she had been told not to open 'on pain of death'. Unfortunately mum had threatened "on pain of death" about so many things and Eloise was still alive.

Sexting didn't exist sixteen years ago but "Uncle" Stafford had made do with pen and paper and foolishly mum had kept the letters. You cannot get DNA tests, not legally at any rate and Sophie didn't want to spend the cash when there might be a cheaper way.

She finished the cleaning and settled down to wait for mum to return.

"Do you want a cup of tea?" was followed closely by "Who was my father?"

"You're not going to accept Darth Vader this time then?" was mum's attempt at levity. It soon subsided with the stern look on Eloise's face.

"Well," was as far as mum got.

"When were you going to tell me? It's Uncle Staf isn't it?"

"How do you know?"

"Is that a yes?"

Mum faffed around a bit and said "No," then she faffed around a bit more and said, "Yes."

"So I'll be travelling free on the taxis from now on?"

"I'll have a word."

The End

by Derek McMillan, author of the cheerfully entitled "Murder from Beyond the Grave" which is available from "Best Wishes" in Durrington.

It is also available as an audiobook on eBay. I can recommend trying an audiobook. Most of us do not have a printing press in the shed but an audiobook only requires a PC to burn CDs.

From Ebay. Click here