Worthing Flash

"Please sit down. You are obliged to answer our questions. This is an official enquiry. Could you give your name please." "Petronella Feudal -Baron. I take it this isn't going to be a lengthy session. I have a mascara wand to pick up from Harvey Nicks." "We'd be grateful if you could just tell us exactly what happened in the garden at 10 Greening Street, on the date in question." "Happy to. Fuss about nothing. The idea that a little get together during a panic about some fictional germ warfare attack is the subject of an inquiry is absolutely ludicrous." "Just what happened, please, Miss Feudal- Baron. Opinions aren't necessary. I want to remind you that on the date in question, it was forbidden to gather either indoors or outdoors, for any social purposes whatsoever. This was a government mandate in response  to the serious threat posed by the situation. I'm sure that I don't need to remind you that people cou...

The door into the lounge was opened by a bit more than a crack. Davy thought that, although he might get away with opening it a shade wider, what he could see through the gap was quite enough. In perfect view was the Christmas buffet table. Draped in a white cloth, it bore a splendid array of grapefruit porcupines spiked with cheese and pineapple on sticks, or cheese and wrinkled- looking silverskin onions, Twiglets, alluringly displayed in a lazy susan and alternating with carrot sticks, a gelatinous looking dip, and, pièce de résistance chunks of celery with cream cheese squished into the ridges in the middle. As Davy watched, a braceleted hand reached out, and tipsily shoved an empty glass on to the edge of the tablecloth, the maraschino cherry on a plastic cocktail stick, lurking at the bottom. The scarlet fingernails flashed briefly. The gap be...

 I think we've reached the end of our friendship. I'm not sure that we will agree about who has been the better ex friend, but up for consideration are the following. That unfortunate business in 1987, when your first wife left you for her lesbian lover, and you drank whole bottles of whisky and slept out under hedgerows.  I was very understanding about that. You had plenty of support. Then the cat got run over and the wife was still playing away and you phoned me one morning when I was getting the kids ready for school and I had to overdose them on chocolate buttons to help you out. Plenty of back-up there as I recall. Things were rather quiet until the year 2001, when you wrote that mysterious letter from hospital, saying that you were there because others had deemed you  a danger to yourself, and please could I help again. Naturally, I helped lavishly. I think we should draw a discreet veil over that disgraceful tantrum you had in 2017, about the Bronze...