40 Units

 

“You take forever to order just like with everything else, you haven’t changed at all have you?” A familiar voice with an unfamiliar face calls from behind. A long-lost friend welcomes unfamiliar emotions. We stare at each other in silence because I don't want to have small talk. I know her life ain’t easy, and at the same time, I still fall into the same small talk I desperately want to avoid. Cause just looking at her I know it’s not easy. Taking care of four kids by herself while working at Church's chicken ain’t nothing to even smile about.

But I still ask her “How's everything” because I have no clue what else I should say to you. I want to make a joke, cause you know me as a class clown but life is no joke, and I know that better than anyone.

Life's not fair in the slightest and I’ve always known that from being in foster care. Yet even I didn’t think life could be so cruel to just steal Rufina’s life from her.

You tell me about how tough things have been, I realize that not everyone has a success story. Some of us just end up stories.

I ask about your kids' love for school, and you point to one. Oldest of them all, tending to his siblings eating, quickly shoots me a smile of missing teeth and silver. Not shy at all. That's when I hurt, because I remember you got better grades than me in middle school and took school more seriously. You didn’t love school, but I know you got better grades than me, even in high school. Yet senior year was when you had your first child and you had to drop out.

You tell me that you need about 40 credits to get your GED. I smile because I hope that I’ll see you around later with better news. Yet deep down inside I don’t believe my own thoughts. I don’t, but I still smile in hopes that everything you're telling me about finishing your GED and going to college aren’t puffed up words but contain merit. You say you’re proud of me, but I stay silent because I’m tired of telling my success. I tell you it’s not impossible, and my food comes. 

Dewayne Wallace was raised in Pomona California. The passing of his father inspired him to write about his own experiences growing up in Pomona as a Foster youth trying to create his own path. He draws inspiration from his own childhood and the music that helped to shape his own perspective upon his reality from artists like Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Outkast and Freddie Gibbs. Academically he is inspired by Langston Hughes, Octavia Butler, and Toni Morisson in how he wishes to portray his own unique identity and environment unapologetically within the narratives he creates in his works.