Awkward Customer
Originally published in Anti-SF which is short for Antipodean Science Fiction Awkward Customer By Derek McMillan “A black coffee, please.” “Can I get you anything to eat?” “Well, I would quite like your liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.” Marie looked at the customer and decided he was probably joking. “I can do you a tongue sandwich,” she replied and he settled for that. He was the only customer in Dewhurst’s cafe at the time and she got chatting with him for want of anything better to do. “I ain’t seen yer around here, have I?” “Well, no. I’m new in town. I’m looking for work if you’re short.” Marie Dewhurst was 4ft 6 inches tall, or 1371 millimetres if you’re feeling continental. Irritatingly she was actually short of staff so Paul Aldridge (for such was his name) ended up with a job in the cafe on a trial basis. There were usually a few customers in the cafe at any one time so the first time Paul was serving — and there was only one customer — was when Daniel Barker cam...