Finding my Feet.

Finding my Feet.

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I was doing my best to stay calm, about to make my television debut. I was to be interviewed by local reporter, Rick Sullivan, for News at Six.

‘Dora, tell us a little about your background and working life?’ Rick said.

‘Born and raised here, in this water-front town. I was an only child, single and active in the community and the church. I cared for both my elderly parents with home helps, of course. Then Mother died two years ago.’ I produced a spotless white hankie from my cardigan pocket and blew my nose.

‘After finishing school, I trained as a post office worker and rose through the ranks. I was the local postmistress for thirty years.’

‘A responsible position,’ Rick said.

‘Nowadays you volunteer for Neighbourhood Watch duty in the town. Tell us about a typical day. What was your first day like?’

"It wasn't the best of starts," I said and took a deep breath and began to tell him what happened.

'It was a January day. One of those days when your torn between staying at home or bracing the elements. But Dandy, my white terrier, needed his daily stroll along the peer. A car screeched to a halt and an elderly man wearing a dressing gown and slippers stepped out, disrobed, and without hesitation jumped into the icy waves. A suicide, I thought. My heart was racing as I dialled the police, and to my surprise, the sound of sirens filled the air within seconds.

'Police officers and the local GP, Doctor Williams, arrived on the scene. A few moments later, the man— whose name I can’t mention on air for ethical reasons— emerged from the water and was mystified to see such a welcome party! Doctor Williams explained to the police that his patient took a daily plunge all year round; it was much-needed therapy for his progressive muscular disease.'

'The police officer asked me for identification. Then he said:“Miss Dora Cook of Neighbourhood Watch, I caution you. Wasting police time and resources is a crime,” but I noticed the twinkle in his eye as he gave me the once over.'

'I told him I was sorry, but I had imagined the worst. It was my first day on Neighbourhood Watch to which he replied that it was obvious. I could feel my face burn as those around me did their best to hide their smirks.'

‘Weeks, months passed without much excitement,’ I continued, ‘until one day last summer.’

‘Do tell?’ Rick urged.

'It was early July; I was walking along the canal path, when I heard a commotion in a disused cemetery on the opposite side, next to St. Stephen’s church. I thought nothing of it. Groups of teenagers often hung out there. Then I saw a group of men, none of whom I recognized, fighting.

'This surprised me; being the retired local postmistress, I thought I knew everyone in the area. There was a woman, another unfamiliar face; she was pleading with them to stop. Then something caught her eye. She looked down at her feet, at something glinting in the sunlight. She bent and grabbed it. I saw it was a long pole with a spike, and she lunged after the men.'

'I stood frozen and watched the brouhaha. Men and women, battle bound and crazy; one man ran around with a butcher’s knife, dripping with blood, another carried a slash hook. Oh, and the cursing and name calling I heard on that occasion I could never repeat, certainly not on air.

'Dandy started growling, barking, and straining at his leash as if he wanted to swim across and get into the thick of it. I whipped out my mobile phone and dialled the police. It was only then I spotted the cameras and film crew in the church carpark, and a trailer with a sign “Makeup”, inside the church gates. To make matters worse, I recognized the same police officer as on the previous occasion.'

“Allo allo allo. If it isn’t Miss Cook of Neighbourhood Watch,” he said. Before I could reply, the static radio message from his shoulder telephone caught his attention, and I overheard him say. ‘It’s Miss Cook, or should I say Miss Snoop, our overzealous Neighbourhood Watch friend at it again’. He turned his attention back to me.'

'I told him it was an honest mistake,one anyone could have made. Everything appeared so lifelike.'

'To which he replied, “Time you visited your optician,’’ in a voice dripping with sarcasm. He opened his mouth to add something, thought better of it and walked away.’

‘Since that incident, I was careful, but life keeps happening; doesn’t it?’

‘And what did life throw at you next? Rick asked.

‘Well, believe it or not, about two months ago I was involved in the movie-making business again. A small group of protesters gathered at the edge of a field where cameramen were filming circus dogs, jumping through hoops and chasing rubber bunnies on an electric track; nothing cruel, you understand.The protesters were shaking their fists and jumping up and down.'

'I knew my duty. When the police arrived, there were scuffles. Everyone chased after the dogs, who went feral and bit several onlookers, including me. Drew blood from my left ankle to hurt more than I expected. Even my beloved Dandy forgot his breeding and expensive dog-school manners and joined in the hubbub. My photo was in the local paper on that occasion as well, and it was so exciting to travel in an ambulance with a police escort.'

‘You’ve given us a starry-eyed account of the mundane.’ Rick said. I thought that was an odd remark. I was in my stride now, ‘My year with Neighbourhood Watch has given me eye-opening experiences, for sure.’ Rick smiled and thanked me for coming. I gushed: ‘I’m so glad you invited me on television this evening, and I look forward to coming back again soon.’

 

 

by Mary Anne McEnery