Write-Bytes

Write-Bytes by Linda S. Gunther

You can visit my website (www.lindasgunther.com)or just read below this byte in its entirety (for your convenience).
July 14, 2023 - #44 - The Opening Line to Your Short Story

How short should a short story be? If it’s flash fiction, then the guideline from the lit pub world is likely 1,000 words or less, and sometimes the specified request from a publication is that the piece be even less than 750 words. My own short stories are typically 2,000-3,500 words, sometimes shorter. That means packing in the structure of problem-complication-resolution into quite a limited word count.

Crafting a novel offers much of the same challenge when it comes to the ‘very first line,’ the ‘hook’ that will immediately engage the reader. Let’s face it, if the reader is invested in a full-length novel or memoir, they will likely not just read the first line of the first chapter and then toss the book aside even if they’re not immediately pulled in. They will most definitely go further and at least read the whole first chapter, and maybe the next 50 pages. But if it’s a reader starting a short story and the very first line fails to capture their attention, then it is possible they will be turned off and curtail the experience. Bottomline, a short story needs a ‘scintillating’ opening.

I was attending a Mystery Writers of America – Northern California Chapter webinar with speaker John M. Floyd, author of nine novels and over 350 short stories which appear in notable publications including: Ellery Queen Magazine, Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Magazine, Strand Magazine and the Saturday Evening Post. When John M. Floyd writes a story, his thoughts first go to ‘plot.’ He starts with a brief outline. In his talk with us, he mentioned that some of his writing colleagues may tend to start with the setting or lead character when first shaping their short story. For Floyd, once he gets the general plot in mind, he then focuses on character development and how he will actually open the story with a riveting first line. Here’s an example of an opening line from his short story titled, Flu Season:

“If he’s sick,” O’Neal said, “maybe he’ll die on his own.”

So, what can we notice about this concise, well-crafted eleven-word opening sentence?

It sucks the reader right into the action and creates tension.

It intrigues us with thoughts about what’s happening in that moment, and drives us to keep reading.

It creates a world instantly involving three characters; the narrator, O’Neal and the guy who is likely dying.
WE ARE PLUNGED INTO THAT SCENE!

Floyd went on to emphasize a most valuable tip for evolving a short story. Get the Five W’s into the front-end of the story: Who, What, Why, Where and When. Not every one of these elements need to appear in the very first line of your story. BUT for a short story to be compelling, all of those details need to flow out quickly.

Here’s another exquisite opening line, this one from Hemingway’s Old Man and The Sea (a short novel):

“He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf Stream and he had gone eighty-four days now without taking a fish.”

That one line provides the reader with almost all Five W’s.

Edgar Allan Poe, a master of the short story, opened with this line in The Pit and the Pendulum:

“I was sick — sick unto death with that long agony.”

Not a pretty line but that sentence gets the reader right into the head of the narrator. It’s short and in first person. Poe is going for the jugular in that line. He’s creating ‘a sense of dread and fear’ from the get-go.

One of my all-time favorite short story authors is Raymond Carver. His down to earth style intrigues 
me, instantly stimulates my emotions, glides me into a world which he develops within his opening line.

Here’s the first line from Carver’s short story, Why Don’t You Dance?

“In the kitchen, he poured himself another drink and looked at the bedroom suite in his front yard.”

Carver skillfully invites readers into the middle of a vivid scene. Upon reading this opening line, the reader will surely have questions they want answered. That one line offers quite the ‘hook.’

Tips for A Compelling Opening Line for a Short Story (from John M. Floyd and echoed by others):

- Use words that add weight to the sentence
- Resist using too many adjectives
- Define Point of View (POV) for the reader (likely use of first person or third person, etc.)
- Keep words concise, yet descriptive
- Toggle the emotions of the reader right from the start
- Create tension
- Offer the reader a compelling image
- Target an unexpected opening line
- Maybe start with a line of dialogue

Stephen King said this:

“But there’s one thing I’m sure about. An opening line should invite the reader to begin the story. It should say: Listen. Come in here. You want to know about this.”

Here’s something I’ve noticed from participating in writing critique groups over the years. To find that enticing opening line for your story, consider that the “right” line may actually appear in the third paragraph of your draft story. One of your writing colleagues may spot it, and you may hear these words from him or her:

“Your piece started for me with the first line of your third paragraph. That sentence got me right into the scene, the action, the protagonist’s perspective and her yearning. Maybe you want to open the story with that sentence.”

Of course, you are the writer! You make the decision about how to structure your short story. But that nugget of feedback from a colleague could be ‘golden.’ At least, consider it. Try it out. Read it aloud.

Stay tuned for next week. Look for this BLOG every FRIDAY which will l be posted at 9 a.m.

Next week’s WRITE-BYTES post will be titled INTERVIEWING YOUR CHARACTERS

Copyright © 2023 Linda S. Gunther, Author