Who Is That Stranger on Our Zoom Meeting?

Who Is That Stranger on Our Zoom Meeting?

“It’s time to let people in. I’ll take down the welcome sign and hit the buzzer,” Lorna says.

“And, Virginia, you are co-hosting tonight so give everyone a nice Flash Fiction hello,”

“Welcome people. It’s a good evening for stories. Hi Alma, hello Rick, hi Julia, hey Merle, good to see you. Does anyone know this I ♥ Katz person?” Virginia asks.

“It’s just a sign so maybe it’s an ad for Katz’s Deli.”

“Don’t you wish, Bernie.”

“Maybe it’s a Feline Rescue Home.”

“We have a dozen guests so far. Irma, do you know this I ♥ Katz person?” Lorna asks.

“No maybe she's here just to listen and not to read,” Virginia asks again.

“Look I ♥ Katz is a woman she took down her sign. Doesn't she know we can see her putting on her makeup?” Annie says.

“She probably wants to look her best for the reading,” Virginia says.

“Well then,” Annie says, “she should wipe her bright red lipstick off her bright red teeth. I had a teacher in junior high who lipsticked her teeth like that.”

Mickey claps his hands for attention. “I’ve had other people who run these zoom meetings tell me to watch out for trolls I certainly hope she's not a troll. Hey, I ♥ Katz, are you here to listen or do you think you're gonna read?

Leonora says, “She's ignoring you. Maybe she doesn't talk until she feels she's all made-up.”

“I hope she's not a rhyming poet,” Mickey says. “I knew we should have kept this as flash only. Oh, look now, she's blotting her lipstick with a paper napkin.”

“My mother made me carry a paper napkin in my pocket instead of a handkerchief,” Tommy says. “I still do it to this day. Great, she's not doing her teeth, she's leaving the lipstick on them, and it's not like she doesn't have a mirror in her hand. She's gotta know.”

Lorna makes a face and says, “We all go for a certain look.”

“Not that look, Lorna, she's taking out her metal lunch box.”

“What, is she in construction?”

“God that makes me think of those awful summers my father made me schlep concrete and bricks and told me it's good training,” Merle says.

“How’d that work out?” Lorna asks her.

“I realized I wanted a clean job,” Merle says.

“Look she's pulling out a martini glass, a jar for olives, and a small bottle of vermouth from her lunch box.”

“This is too much for me,” Irma says, “just give me a simple Long Island iced tea,” and she gets up and leaves the Zoom meeting.

“Oh my, fancy schmancy, a shaker, a cloth napkin, and a family-size bag of Cheetos.”

“The Cheetos will go well with her lipstick,” Glenn messages.

“Okay, group, welcome to our first flash fiction zoom blast. Please everyone mute your mics until you're reading,” Mickey continues, “our opening reader tonight it's Lorna who just had her first chapbook published. Lorna considers herself a dreamer so all her stories will have something to do with dreams.”

“Thank you, Lorna. That was wonderful. Sue, you’re up next and you’ll be reading your last two published flash fictions,” Virginia says.

“Now I ♥ Katz is opening a book and reading while she finishes off the sub and sipping her second martini,” Annie says.

“That could explain a lot,” Phyllis says.

“The book?”

“No, the two martinis.”

“Our next reader tonight is Janet who will enthrall us with a few of her flash and micro stories from her Covid Tales Series.”

Mickey continues his running commentary. “I ♥ Katz is laying her head on her arms and napping. She must think she’s in kindergarten. Somehow, she’s unmuted again and snoring.”

Margo says, “I’ve had enough,” She stands and leaves the Zoom. Two others close their screens. Margo will tell everyone, so I’ll either have a good crowd or no one at next month’s reading.

“I’ll mute her. Bill, will you introduce me as the closer? I sent you a bio text. I’ll be reading three connected micros that are coming out in Mystery Micro World.”

While I’m waiting for Bill, I ♥ Katz unmutes again and says, “Thank you all for a lovely evening,” She turns her sign around, it reads, I ♥ Katz —Performance Artist. IM me for your next Zoom meeting, Bar Mitzvah, Zoom Birthday, Book Club, or Shiva call.” She stands, blows a kiss with her lip-printed hand, and leaves the Zoom reading.

by Paul Beckman

 

Paul Beckman’s latest flash collection, Kiss Kiss (Truth Serum Press) was a finalist for the 2019 Indie Book Awards. Some of his stories have appeared in Spelk, Anti-Heroin Chic, Necessary Fiction, Bending Genres, Monkey, Fictive Dream, X-R-A-Y Literary Magazine, Pank, Playboy, WINK, and he was long listed for the Wigleaf 50. He had a story selected for the 2020 National Flash Fiction Day Anthology and one in the best Microfiction 2022 anthology.  Paul curates a monthly Fbomb flash fiction reading series via Zoom. His new collection, Becoming Mirsky is due out this year. (Cervena Barva Press)