Three 100 word stories

  Trail Accident Report

 

Two unidentified hikers suffered only minor injuries (primarily to their pride) after they attempted to mount each other last weekend in a secluded area of Mount Washington. One partner’s bare buttocks and the other’s sneakered feet simultaneously encountered a mossy patch on a rock outcropping during the near consummation of the couple’s relationship. The pair slid five hundred feet down a steep, grassy incline before coming to rest in a patch of wild blueberries. Rangers reported that the couple plans to climb again next month and advised them to wear the proper clothing and footgear needed to attain their summit.

 

     Tuition

 

Dave knew he failed that morning’s exam, and he hadn’t even started the research paper due that afternoon. He needed inspiration, encouragement, motivation. His roommate couldn’t help, also on the brink of flunking out. His professors would be annoyed that he waited this long to get help. His parents would say, "I told you so." His girlfriend would dump him if she knew how bad his grades were. Wanting words of wisdom, instead he saw this message in his college dorm’s restroom stall just above an arrow pointing to the toilet paper: "Your college diploma. Deposit $100,000 and take one."

 

 

     Janet’s Debut

 

At age sixteen, Janet went with friends to a Red Sox game at Fenway. Her parents recorded the game just in case. In the seventh inning, she casually reached inside her tank top to wipe sweat from her still-developing breasts. Janet is now forty-seven, an award-winning journalist with a daily national cable program. At her family Thanksgiving dinner this year, she asked her brother to pass the gravy. The brother barely finished high school and thinks Italian satellites changed presidential votes. He responded to Janet’s polite request by shouting: "Hey, remember that time Janet played with her boobs on TV?"

 

by John Sheirer 




 

 

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