ALL TOO BRIEF NB A work of fiction.

We had been lovers for three months when I noticed that subtle change; somehow things were not the same. I knew it was over and I knew there was nothing I could do. She wanted to move on; there was no reason to suspect she was seeing someone else but she needed to ease me out of her life. We both had high expectations of something long-term but perhaps mine were higher than hers and perhaps she realised she could not go on with it. But being realistic it was better now than later when perhaps marriage, house purchase and even children made life more complicated.

We had seen each other a few times when I was meeting up with friends but not taken much notice of each other. Then it was at a meal we happened to sit next to each other and we talked all evening; on impulse I asked if I could see her home. She’d mentioned in passing where she lived and it was a couple of streets away from me and. She agreed and when we got there she asked me in for tea; I feel sure it was for us at first just a social occasion but one thing led to another and we tumbled into bed. And that first sex was good; very good. Later we lay together half asleep. She smiled.

“I’m sorry but I need to set the alarm. I get up at six to catch that early train to Portsmouth. I mustn’t be late and I need to shower and have breakfast first.” I nodded.

“Do you want me to go home now?” I asked.

“No of course not; but I felt you should know the situation.”

“May I walk you to the station; I have plenty of time?” She yawned happily.

“Yes that would be lovely but now I need to get some sleep.” I knew the subtext; sorry but no more sex tonight and none in the morning.

We slept through until the alarm woke us. She got up immediately, made some tea and then showered while I put the toast on and put the flakes in the bowl. All too soon we were walking the short way to the station.

“May I see you again?” I asked. She laughed.

“Of course” she hesitated. “Will you meet my train tonight?” I readily agreed and we kissed goodbye. That was how it all began. I spent most midweek nights at her place, that was clearly her preference with her long journey to work and then she spent the weekend nights at my house. And I would walk to the station each morning and meet her there each evening, hoping and praying her train would not be late. My few previous relationships had either fizzled out or ended in acrimony but this seemed very different and so it was for those few brief months; and how sweet it was. I had never realised that life and love could be so good. For the first time I felt truly alive. But gradually I began to learn more about her; how her marriage had broken down and how things had turned very nasty. I hoped that our relationship had eased her pain and helped her love again. My own personal history had not been much happier and I thought we might move on together.

Then one evening we sat together after our meal at my home. She had been subdued and preoccupied; then she sighed.

“John we need to talk.”

“Yes I think we do,” I said. “I was going to ask you to marry me but I guess not now.”

She looked at me sadly.

“John; I am so sorry. You are a lovely man and very kind and you are great in bed.” She paused. I knew what was coming next.

“Somehow we don’t have much else in common and for this to work there must be more; a lot more. It isn’t going to work; I would like it to more than anything in the world but it won’t and I cannot lie to myself and to you and pretend it will. If we carry on it may end in disaster so we need to end it now.” But please; let us still be friends.” I noticed she had tears in her eyes. She lent forward and kissed me gently on the forehead and then she got up and walked slowly away without looking back.

Tony Roberts