Subway with Suspender Guy (SG) and Flashy Dresser Lady (FD)

by Paul Beckman

SG
She’s got a button nose. I’ve always been turned on by a button nose. Of course, I’ve been known to get attached to a hook nose or an upturned nose or even a nose with Miss Piggy-like wide nostrils. What can I say? I like noses.
FD
He wears braces. I like that word better than suspenders. I’ve always had a thing for braces. My father and his brothers all wore them, and they looked dignified and would hook their thumbs underneath and snap them. Sometimes they’d do it together when they got up from the dinner table on the count of three and they’d always pick me to count. I guess I really should call his suspenders because they didn’t button onto his pants but are held by little alligator clips. He also wears a belt. A take-no-chances kind of guy.
SG
Her button nose matches the buttons on her overcoat. I like that. I’m not sure I like her haircut though. Her severe bangs cut across her face mid-way into her eyebrows. I’d like to tell her to move those bangs up an inch or two and since her hair is very black and is cut on the sides down to her chin it’s the first thing most people would look at. I’m not most people but I’d wait for our second date and say to her, “highlights”. Just that one word and she’d know I care.
FD
The subway will clear out at the next stop. I wonder if he’ll take a seat if he stays on or continues holding on to the pole. I’m betting pole. He’s got to be well over six feet and could used a little meat on those bones. I always feel safer dating tall men. If I had a chance to cook him a meal he’d get a start there. And someone ought to tell him that Elvis has left the building, so he ought to lose those sideburns. He should trade them in for a mustache—it would make his mouth look stronger.
SG
I know she’s going to sit down if she doesn’t get off at Astor Place. I’m in no hurry so I won’t get off either. But if she does I’ll walk up to her and say excuse me, my name is Billy Styles, what’s yours? I’m a big talker when it’s in my mind. That’s for sure. She’s staying and takes a seat, so I’ll grab one across from her. The heat’s got her so she opens her overcoat, and everything matches including the button nose on her pants suit jacket. Glad I wore my good clothes today. She’s a fashion plate. I see the ridges on her cheeks. She must have had bad acne as a teen. I’ll bet she likes sushi. I’d like to take her out for dinner tonight.
FD
He keeps checking me out. Well, I’m doing it to him also. Maybe I’ll change seats and just chat with him and see where it leads. I was supposed to get off at Astor Place and now we’re heading for Brooklyn. He could use those new invisible braces to straighten out his teeth. I like his looks, but he’d look even better. He’s scribbling in a notebook. I wonder if he’s drawing a picture of me. He wraps his whole hand around the pencil like he’s choking it. They never taught that in penmanship class. He looks like a computer wonk. At least we’d have something to talk about. The moment of truth is coming—we’re pulling to a stop and I’m going to move across the aisle and sit next to him.
SG
I’m going to cross over and talk to her. What’s the worst that could happen?
That scar cutting across her upper lip won’t be a problem. I’m sure. I wonder if it makes her talk funny. Shoot-she’s standing also probably ready to get off. I’ll follow her.
FD
Hey, are you stalking me?
SG
No, not at all. I wanted to meet you and say hello.
FD
Why didn’t you do it on the train?
SG
Well, the truth of the matter is I’m kind of shy, but I was just about to sit next to you when you got off.
FD
I stood up to walk over and sit next to you and start a conversation, but I got off because you stood up and I figured you were getting off.
SG
Would you like to go for sushi?


Paul Beckman was one of the winners in The Best Small Fictions 2016!  And has been nominated for 2018. His latest collection of flash stories, "Kiss Kiss" available at Amazon http://bit.ly/pbKiss paperback  http://bit.ly/KisseP e book  Some places his stories have been published: Literary Orphans, Matter Press, Spelk, The Lost Balloon, Playboy, Gravel, and Pank. He curates the monthly FBomb NY flash fiction reading series at KGB’s Red Room.

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