Seeking Santa

“Woah, Dasher, It's no good. We'll have to go down. I can't carry on.”

Santa Claus stifled a cough as he guided his sleigh down onto the pebbled beach. The tide was well out and the distant waves twinkled in the moonlight.

“Cough, cough, cough,” went Santa, taking a large white handkerchief out of the pocket of his bright red suit.

He sneezed violently into the handkerchief and wiped his streaming eyes with the edge of his hood, not caring if the fur tickled his cheeks.

He was shivering and his breath was coming in rasping gasps.

Two of the elves jumped down from where they were sitting on the remaining parcels.

“ What can we do?” asked one. “ You need to get home and drink something warm.”

“ There's only this land to do,” said the other elf. “Could we do it ourselves?”

“No,” said Santa sternly, “It has to be a Father Christmas. Drop me back home and search for a substitute – there's plenty to choose from.”

“ But will he be able to drive the reindeer?”

“ The reindeer know where to go. It's dropping off the presents that needs a Santa. We have to coat him in magic so he can get down chimneys. You'll have to hold auditions.”

So Santa flew slowly back to the North Pole while one elf went looking for a replacement. By the time his companion returned the first elf had found a large hall at the end of the pier and, by tweeting online, had four potential candidates, A,B, C and D.

The first interviewee came bounding up to the two elves, who were sat behind a large table covered in a red cloth, each with a list of questions in front of them.

“ Is this for real?” asked Alan. “You really need another Santa?”

“ Yes,” said the first elf, “ but you look a bit young and thin. We'd have to pad you out, and you haven't got a beard.”

“But I've been an actor for years,” said the young man. “I can play Santa.”

“ Well, thank you, we'll let you know. Please wait outside and send in the next person.”

To their surprise, the next candidate was a woman. She blushed as she stood in front of them. “I'm Chris,” she offered. “The others let me come next.”

“ You do know we wanted a Father Christmas?” asked one elf.

“ Yes, but if Dr Who can be a woman, surely there's no reason why I couldn't be Santa?”

“ Good point,” said the elf, “ but we have two more people to see.”

The third candidate pushed by as she opened the door to leave. Dave looked perfect, with a large, red face and a thick white beard.

“ I've been standing in for Santa in the local department store,” he began. “ I made sure all the little blighters told me what they wanted so I could make their parents uncomfortable. Imagine their faces when they don't get what they asked for. I even criticise the spelling in their letters to Santa. If they can't do that right they don't deserve a present.”

“So why do you want to deliver the gifts now?” asked the elf.

“ Just to see what they're getting. You can't believe how greedy some of the little horrors are.”

“ Well, please wait outside and we'll let you know soon,” said the elf, sneaking a sideways glance at his friend.

“ He doesn't even like children,” he said, when the man had gone. “ I wouldn't be surprised if he kept some of the presents for himself.”

“ Oh dear, we've only got one left. If he won't do we will have to use the actor.”

But when they saw Bob's round, cheerful face they began to relax. He didn't have a beard but he had a spring in his step, a jolly laugh and a twinkle in his eye.

“ If we dress him in the outfit he might do,” said the first elf. “ Would you like to complete Santa's run for us? The reindeer are ready and we have all the parcels. There's only this country left to do.”

“ We need to complete Worthing,” said the other elf, “and then swing round the coast and finish up in London.”

“ Surely that will take hours?” asked Bob.

“ Not the way we do it – time stands still for us. How about it?”

“ I'd be back for Christmas Day?”

“Sure thing.”

“I'd love to do it.”

“ Good. We think you'll make a great Father Christmas.”

And he did.

Story by Julie C Round