Rudolph the Red Nosed Rogue
‘Rudolph. You’ve swilled booze in most households and in every country between here and home. It’s no surprise that you’re tagged as Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. You’re weaving all over the place and the reins are tangled again. Thanks to you, we’re well behind schedule and you know that I hate rushing the job. God knows how you slip the reins every time we stop.’ Santa didn’t function well when stressed. It gave him indigestion which made him irritable. He lobbed a present towards the umpteenth millionth Christmas tree and cringed as it hit the chimney wall breaking the contents. ‘Now look what you made me do, you drunken antlered cervine.’ ‘Look here, Claus,’ Rudolph stamped a hoof, ‘for 364 days a year I live in freezing conditions and work outrageously long hours fetching materials required to make presents or shunting the finished articles to the warehouse. The power-happy elves are a pain in my rectum with their rules and regulations. I don’t get hol...