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Rudolph the Red Nosed Rogue

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‘Rudolph. You’ve swilled booze in most households and in every country between here and home. It’s no surprise that you’re tagged as Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. You’re weaving all over the place and the reins are tangled again. Thanks to you, we’re well behind schedule and you know that I hate rushing the job. God knows how you slip the reins every time we stop.’ Santa didn’t function well when stressed. It gave him indigestion which made him irritable. He lobbed a present towards the umpteenth millionth Christmas tree and cringed as it hit the chimney wall breaking the contents. ‘Now look what you made me do, you drunken antlered cervine.’  ‘Look here, Claus,’ Rudolph stamped a hoof, ‘for 364 days a year I live in freezing conditions and work outrageously long hours fetching materials required to make presents or shunting the finished articles to the warehouse. The power-happy elves are a pain in my rectum with their rules and regulations. I don’t get hol...
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Evil Empire

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It started in a dream. I dreamt that I had downloaded a trending game "Evil Empire". It had already spawned two lookalikes, "Vile Empire" and the satirical "Live Empire". For good measure, I downloaded them too. When I woke up I found that my phone had downloaded "Evil Empire" all by itself. These smartphones really are smart. Then I tried to turn to other apps. It wouldn't let me. I swiped up, down and sideways to no avail. Then I tried to reset the phone. It had disabled that too. I could not switch it off and I couldn't turn the volume down although the music was really annoying. I turned on the radio. Radio Four reported, "Britain has been the victim of an unprecedented cyber attack. It is reported that mobile phones have been incapacitated by a video game called..." And there it stopped and the "Evil Empire" music started to play. I tried to turn the radio off. It wouldn't turn off. So I tried another st...
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Surprise!

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Surprise! I drove through a fog made denser by the smoke from the bonfires. There was something about this particular year which seemed to have brought out in people an insane urge for pyrotechnics, filling-dislodging bonfire toffee and quaint nostalgic penny for the guy stuff. Or maybe it was because I hadn’t been back home for a while. I'd deliberately booked something at the Royal Exchange so that I could escape. It was my last night in the old country, and would be my last trip home. My shock, in the aftermath of the pile up ahead, was partly owing to the smash itself and partly to what I saw when I left the car and walked the few yards to the scene of the accident. There was horror, mingled with a desperate urge to laugh my head off, when I saw the blood streaked face of the driver of the car at the end of the pile up, by which time I ...
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Best Friend Forever

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We were sprawled on the hospital bed, counting all the dead people we had kissed. “My teenage boyfriend, the one who killed himself.” “The tennis-player in college. Those shorts!” “How about the boy across the street? His sister was so appalled I had touched her precious brother. She’s dead now, too. At least I never kissed her.” “Well I did. Summer of Love Redux, baby!”  She loved to say stuff for shock value and as usual my startle reflex made her laugh. “Well, aren’t you the judgey one,” she said. The doctor came in, his stethoscope dangling.  “I bet he’s going to Halloween as a doc-tah,” she stage-whispered behind her bruised hand. He smiled and pulled the curtain around her and once again I was on the outside. “This will take a while, she called through the fabric. “Bring me back something Halloween-y. We’ll trick-or-treat the ward!” To spend her bit of remaining time being monitored like that─ what good did it do? She was going as fast as she could. I...
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Dogs from Mars

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by Marcelo Medone “ Tell me if it was you or your brother, Betsy: it's very serious matter. The strawberries were for Grandmother Lola's birthday cake.” The woman points to the mess in the kitchen, with traces of strawberries staining the floor and the counter. “ It wasn’t me, Mum, I swear.” Betsy makes a contrite face and sighs. “ And where's Timmy?” “ He left home. He hasn't come back yet.” “ Weren't you going to ask for sweets together?” “ Timmy says I'm too young to go with him. That I am a nuisance. That Halloween isn't for little four-year-old girls like me. That's why he left without me.” “ So, did you see him?” Absolute silence. Betsy bites her lower lip. “ Did you see your brother?” Betsy looks at her mother and realizes she can't lie to her. She swallows and musters up the courage to speak. “ Kevin came to get him earlier. They were the ones who ate the strawberries. Kevin must have eaten strawberries at ho...
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The Haunted Castle

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Josh didn't believe in ghosts, so he fearlessly set out to explore the haunted castle ruins. Nothing happened until he came across a female phantom in one of the tunnels. - A white lady - he muttered. - Anyone, but no lady. He turned on his heel and fled. He reached the door and tugged on the handle. It was locked... The phantom was right behind him. - Relax, you don't have to open it for me - she announced. - I advocate equality, and can easily penetrate matter. - AAAAA! - shouted terrified. - And you don't have to fear me. I'm just a hologram in your game. Christopher T. Dabrowski We have had a number of stories for Halloween. They are all worth reading!
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Postcard from Halloween Camp

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Mother Halloween Camp is awful. No one likes me and they're all horrible, anyway. Dad's old RAF sleeping bag is enormous. I look more like Sherpa Tensing than a 12-year-old. Sometimes I think you must hate me. Also, that bite I received from the huge red centipede has taken root. This morning I woke up really early and found myself outside the tent. I must've wriggled outside during the night. Please collect me at 4pm by the woods. My shiny forcipules keep twitching and I'm worried I might start biting soon. Biting parents doesn't count. Regards Pinky   by Sukie Shinn
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