Two for the price of one from Paul Beckman


It’s Not That Hard



Now form a line.

Now you know the line’s rules.

Now move to the right line.

Now you are all in a line on the right.

Now move to the correct line.

Now Tim, move over to the left line.

Now all friends of Tim’s line up behind Tim.

Now Al, are you really a friend of Tim?

Now Al, move over to the other line where your friends are.

Now Betty Jean, what are you doing?

Now we don’t need another line Betty Jean,

Now Tim, why does everyone want to be in your line?

Now Betty Jean, why do you insist on having your own line.

Now does anyone want to be in Betty Jean’s line.

Now Betty Jean turns around and looks behind to see no one else in her line.

Now Tim, where are you going.

Now Betty Jean see what you started.

Now Tim, why did you move.

Now Tim, you might like her, but you should ask her out on your own time.

Now Tim, why are you holding Betty Jean’s hand?

Now Betty Jean, why are you making that face and saying oohh?

Now Harry, what is it?

Now Harry, yes you are now the head of Tim’s line.

Now Tim, what is it.

Now class, you are right, recess is over so walk back to your home rooms in the line you’re in and we’ll try again tomorrow.

 




How to get Involved with your Local Library




  • Apply for a library card

  • Go back home and get several pieces of mail to show you are a resident (mail addressed to resident does not count)

  • Take the library books out of your backpack before you get caught. The librarian would consider that stealing and has the right to withhold a card for 30 days for each book taken.

  • Now that you have your library card it is time to get involved.

  • Go to the front desk and show your pamphlet that reads, “HOW TO GET INVOLVED WITH YOUR LOCAL LIBRARY”

  • Do not take it personally when your offer to go behind the librarian’s counter to check books in and out is rebuffed.

  • Walk around and shush people even if they are just whispering.

  • Ask the nice young lady pushing the cart if you can help her put the books back on the shelves. Tell her she can have a fifteen-minute break.

  • When the librarian in charge tells you it’s time to leave, do so without a fuss.

  • Wait a week before going back.


 

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